The work of the Lord never stops, but since my emails are only tangentially related to said W of the L, they occasionally take a pit stop for tire repairs. (Meaning there are some of you who are tired of my emails, and I wish to fix that.) I hope you all used your week off to catch up on the Malachi emails that you've hitherto left unread in your inbox. (I'm looking at those of you named Cade, and to a lesser extent those of you named after an all-meat diet.) Some of this email was written last week though, and so in your mind just go ahead and replace about 60% of the times I say the words "this week" in this email with the words "last week" and it should clear things up a little.
Thanks as always for being on the list, and for reading the emails. I know the number of you who finish these is dwindling, and sure to perish in unbelief if you're not careful. This week went by so fast due to an often forshadowed phenomenon called time's not real, but I do have a few stories for you, dear faithful readers.
My mission president told me this week that "I should be doing better things with my time than playing silly games." He said it with all the energy of a disappointed mother telling her son to get off the Xbox, which felt uncalled for considering how I'm the most consecrated missionary in the mission and board games help me feel the spirit. (In a manner of speaking.) So, after I got over being greatly offended, I trained for and ran a half marathon with Elder Ham, since that's surely gotta be a better use of one's time. I ran up the mountains and have pictures of the stretching sky and the far off shores I overlooked. It was probably the prettiest run I've ever been on, and it reminded me of my days runnning half marathons every Saturday while I was in Quebec City. Since then, I've been trying to convince Elder Ham to run a full marathon with me, but he's convinced it is an activity that would cause "extreme fatigue" which activities are expressly forbidden by the standards. I'll let y'all know if I sway him.
At publishing time, I ran another half marathon, and two halfs make a full right?
We met a philosophy teacher, and that was a test of self control like none other, because we aren't allowed to teach him philosophy, just the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Spreading the good word of Utilitarianism is "not in line with my missionary purpose" or soemthing. He fed us some interesting Filipino desserts and offered us every drink he had in the house, 96% of which we had to refuse due to our religeon's supiror Wisdom. We eventually found some common ground though, and drank all his juice and all his diet coke. I didn't try to drink all of it, but he kept filling up our glasses and so I had little choice in the matter. It was cool cause he was really impressed with us, cause he said we were the most polite and eloquent 18 year olds he'd ever talked to. All credit to my parents and grandmas for the polite part, and credit to the Spirit confirming the truth of all things for the eloquence. (And a little credit to Sam and Elder Whitchurch and Sister Silveira and Reese and Elder Henage and Elder Henage and Zach and all the squad who made me good at talking. To those of you not on this list: you haven't sent me enough emails so I've forgotten you.)
Just kidding I could never forget you, my love is eternal, which means unconditional and without end. Ha ha.
My last Pday, (when I was ignoring you guys toxic-girlfriend style,) and you guys were all pining away wishing for my words of comfort and affirmation, I was busy having the best day of my life, jumping off cliffs and stuff. I wasn't even thinking about you, cause I don't need you in my life. (Now you see why I say it was toxic-girlfriend style. I'm definitely salty that most of your lives kept on without me, and the world kept spinning, and you guys didn't email me 600 times to ask what's wrong.)
Basically we walked to these giant sand dunes by the beach, and they were the tallest sand dunes I've ever seen. And then at one point they drop down in this super steep slope that just looks like a giant cliff, but when you jump off, you LAND IN THE SAND AND DON'T DIE!! It's so much fun, cause you can't see over the edge so you just jump into the unknown and then you're fine. I feel like Maud'Dib for real.
We also played some spikeball on the beach, and played some soccer, and ate some Carl's Jr. which is super cheap here for no reason. I got 3 burgers and 2 things of fries for less than $10. I think Carl's is better here than in the states, but don't expect me to prove that claim because I didn't go much in the states, and when I had it here it was after 27 hours of fasting, so that may have given me a biased view of the experience. It was maravilha though. Afterwords Elder Ham talked me into getting a full Carmel shake because he's just that kind of friend. "If there's room for it, you need it" he wisely counciled. He also is trying to talk me into buying more New Zealand chocolate bars, and he's for sure doing the Lord's work because the chocolate here is heavenly. They have these bars called Whittaker's and they're genuinely the best chocolate bars on earth. (Don't expect me to prove that claim cause I'm a missionary and busy sharing the gospel.)
Miracle!!!!
We met our friend Hemi. He's been our best friend for ages, he just didn't know it. That's why he ghosted us for the first half of the transfer, and ignored us when we knocked on his door 17 times. But it's all good cause God wasn't about to let that slide (cause God loves Hemi heaps) so we miraculously caught him as he was walking inside one day, when we didn't even plan to visit him. He invited us in, and we had a super long lesson. He's facing so many challenges that have kept him from getting baptized for years. But!! As of this week he quit vaping entirely, and so we're going to help him! In every way we can, like for example we brought him some banana bread and soft pretzels. Making food is my favorite way to help people. We've also been visiting him every day ever since we caught him, and on Sunday he even brought his kids to church! His testimony is strong, and I've learned a lot from him.
Journeys and Map Debocles
You may not know this but we don't live inside the area we're supposed to stay in at all times. We do have some bikes that can get us to said area in about 15 minutes, but if we're ever transporting items that we can't bike with (like pretzels and banana bread) then we have to bus to the area which takes more like 45 minutes. What's more, because of our distance from the flat, we can't really go back there for lunch or anything, which doesn't leave us many options beyond spending all our money or carrying a bulky lunchbox all day. One time though we raided the Tongan Elders' flat and ate all thier ramen for lunch and that was a very trasty food hiest. (Shout out Dan Wells for introducing me to this life of crime.) The worst part of taking buses and trains though is that sometimes they just randomly get canceled and we'll be left waiting at a station for like half an hour.
Notable Cuisine
I'll just give you a brief overview, cause you're in a hurry and I'm not that smart.
- Me and Elder Ham convinced more than half our district to use the "vanilla flavor bomb" button on the soda machine to flavor thier water, promising the result would be life changing. We didn't specificy how changed thier life would be.
- Every morning I eat this ceral that's labeled "Protien Cereal!!!!" and I know it doesn't have that much protien, but it fills my little heart with joy every morning.
- I ate at an all you can eat buffet place where you grab raw meat and cook it yourself. They don't pay you to do the cooking for them, in fact you pay extra for the privilage of doing literally all the work. I was sent at the expense of some kind members though, and ate heaps of meat, so overall a positive expirience.
- Our area has a large indian population, and so I'm always walking by very good smelling houses with longing for indian food in my heart. But this week after doing service for a lady she fed us some AMAZING indian food and ho
memade naan and it surely brought a tear of joy to my eye. (Partly cause of the spyciness. But worry not, I order a spice level 7 at cup bop so I can take some spice. Not to brag or anything, but you know. Spice level 7 is no joke.)
Important Events
- A guy holding a guitar tried to give me a fist bump. I didn't know what was happening, and assumed he was handing me his guitar so I tried to take the guitar. This happened twice, and it was one of my rare less suave moments.
- My companheiro and I agreed at the beginning of the transfer that we'd each have the shared sim card for half the transfer. I hate having the Sim card though because it means I have to text people and turn my phone off silent. So I'm constantly trying to scam my companion and make him keep the transfer. By the end I think he will have kept the Sim for like 5/6ths of the transfer, which is a great success.
- One sunday we were touched by a babe's tender song. The primary program is always fun, but I especially like watching the little siblings try to micromanage each other as they sing. One concerned older sister helped her younger brother sing slower, sing faster, sing louder, stand straighter and come in sooner all in the course of one primary presentation. As often happens, many young children refused to deliver thier lines, and so thier parents apologetically did it for them. I love that Primary Presentations are the same all over the world.
- One of the missionaries gave me a hair cut, and he did such a good job that my hair looks exactly the same. (How could you improve on perfection?)
- I helped with a musical number at zone conference. I turned the pages for the pianist, and I did a fantastic job if I'm just being honest. I could turn pages professionally if I wanted to. Maybe I'll get an English major. Also check out our ✨️cute matching outfits✨️ in the pictures below!!
Stats:
Lessons taught: 36
Miles Run: 182
Lives saved: 1
Souls saved: ~0
Bunnies: 3
Island Ties Aquired: 4
Times I've gone to taco bell: 3
Member Meals (in this area): 4
Sacriment Meeting Talks: 2
Required Readings. (You know who you are)
I wanted to send this specifically to like 3 of you, but I was worried I'd forget if I didn't throw it on here. Lovely speech, you should all listen, but specifically the 3 of you this is intended for.
Pictures:
(They for sure didn't all add, but hopefully you get the idea.)
Featuring
- Sand Cliff (steeper than it looks)
- I missed my calling as a model
- Muito Bonita
Additional photos:
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